'Don’t wear white to my wedding’: In-Laws Kicked Out of Wedding for Convincing Entire Side of Family to Wear White, Defying Bride's Rules

Author image for elina lee
elina lee
Jun 25, 2023 2:00 PM EDT

Now we don't know about you ladies, but we're firm believers in the phrase 'look before you leap'. Whether it's relationships, a new business venture, or any other significant commitment - you should always gather all the facts and information you need before making that big leap. But especially, when it comes to marriage. 

And that brings us to today's story. The highlight is on a woman who turned to Reddit to rant about her new in-laws. They recently got married but it wouldn't be a Reddit story without some good ol' wedding drama. Now this story isn't like all the others where the bridezilla is a complete control freak, no. In our humble opinion, she wasn't enough of a control freak actually. But this is where the whole 'look before you leap' memo comes in because home girl clearly did not gather all her facts before saying 'I do'. 

We invite you to read this story for yourself, brace yourself because there are a lot of juicy red-flag details. 

Advertisement
  • 01
    Font - Me (27 F) and my Husband (30 M) just got married this January, but the wedding was an absolute mess. For context, my husband "Ben" has a very close-knit family that doesn't take well to outsiders, surprises, or change. Most family reunions and gatherings don't allow plus-ones or spouses, just immediate family. Ben has 2 brothers and 1 sister. Each of my in-laws have wives/husbands, yet they still aren't allowed to come to the majority of family events, so it's fortunately not just me.
    via u/snoopgoop7
  • 02
    Font - Even though I cannot attend most events with his family, I still have a somewhat decent relationship with them. Before the wedding I've never had a major issue with them, but they've always been distant from me and I don't really mind.
    via u/snoopgoop7
  • 03
    Font - Now, let's talk about the wedding. The wedding was planned for New Years Day, since that was the day we met, the day Ben asked me to be his girlfriend, and the day he proposed, so that holiday has always been very special to us. Everyone agreed that New Years Day was a perfect day for the wedding, so no issues there.
    via u/snoopgoop7
  • 04
    Font - Unfortunately, we did have a problem with other things. Ben's family has lots of odd traditions that they do, and over the years I've put up with them and embraced them. They include having a homemade sheet cake rather than a professional wedding cake, wearing all white, and having ALL of the children walk up the aisle to toss flowers rather than having ONE designated flower
    via u/snoopgoop7
  • 05
    Font - girl/boy. However, I wanted my wedding day to be good for the both of us, so we made some compromises. We could have the homemade sheet cake, but we both had to agree on the flavor and design, anyone could wear what they wanted (besides white), and there would be no children at the wedding. (My husband suggested that, not me) We talked to both of our family's, and everyone agreed that these rules and boundaries were fine, (or so we thought).
    via u/snoopgoop7
  • 06
    Font - The day of the wedding came, and my side of the family was dressed appropriately, no children were present, everything was going great. Then, Ben's family came. There were lots of children and babies and everyone was wearing all white. Apparently their traditions were more important than what I had to say.
    via u/snoopgoop7
  • 07
    Font - Only 3 people actually respected the rules set in place. The spouses of Ben's siblings. Ben and I were mortified. We immediately kicked them out and allowed the 3 people who followed the rules to stay, but they left with their partners (which we didn't mind).
    via u/snoopgoop7
  • 08
    Font - The wedding went on as normal, but it felt ruined. We ended up cancelling the post-wedding celebration after some of his family members snuck inside. After we came back from out honeymoon, we were both berated by his family members and basically "shunned" from his family. I feel guilty for not allowing them to practice their traditions. AITA?
    via u/snoopgoop7
  • 09
    Font - Nihilophile 1 day ago Partassipant [4] NTA. That's not a family - that's a cult. Make sure your husband has been thoroughly deprogrammed. 4 32.5k Reply Share
    via u/Nihilophile
  • 10
    Rectangle - littlenerpa 1 day ago Yeah this creeped me out, and they snuck back in? What is wrong with these people? 4 8.9k Reply Share
    via u/littlenerpa
  • 11
    Font - Sylvurphlame . 1 day ago Asshole Enthusiast [8] I have to assume that by "family" they mean only blood relations. So kids are okay but not the spouses that have married in, but to what generation? You'd still be excluding half the parents if it's "in-laws." So I'm also trying really hard not to presume cousin marriages or something. The whole thing is just really odd.
    via u/Sylvurphlame
  • 12
    Font - nutfac 1 day ago · I have a really hard time believing that each member fully agreed to these rules too. So weird.
    via u/nutfac
  • 13
    Rectangle - snoopgoop7 OP. 1 day ago He says that some family members (distant cousins, aunts, uncles, etc) avoided the family after they began to act like this.
    via u/snoopgoop7
  • 14
    Font - snoopgoop7 OP 14 hr. ago There's a surprising amount of people in Bens family. They have this weird ideology that you should have lots of kids, but dump the people who helped make them.
    via u/snoopgoop7
  • 15
    Font - Consistent_Dress_228 1 day ago Partassipant [1] 2 These aren't traditions, they are ways for a dangerously controlling parent to retain control over children as they grow and make lives of their own. Have you considered why a family that doesn't even consider spouces part of the family even has "traditions" about weddings? If they won't even invite the person your child is marrying to family events, how come they care so much about how the wedding goes?
    via u/Consistent_Dress_228
  • 16
    Font - Also, all these "traditions" are geared towards devalueing the new spouce and the ceremony of the wedding itself. If everyone wears white, the bride won't stand out. If you have a homemade wedding cake, you tone down a moment in the wedding where the attention is very much on the new couple. All the children
    via u/Consistent_Dress_228
  • 17
    Font - throwing flowers also takes away attention from the new couple somewhat. They may not be huge issues on their own, but together they turn an event that is supposed to center the couple into one where the attention is on "their" family. 1.5k Reply Share
    via u/Consistent_Dress_228

Tags

bridezilla bride disrespectful boundaries controlling groom marriage control freak wedding party in-law relationships wedding wedding ceremony entitled parents family drama
Scroll Down For The Next Article